January 1st…time for the “New Year, New Me” bullshit. I’ve never been a fan of the resolutions. I used to think, “Just do whatever crap you wanna do no matter when it is.” At one point, I was so brash as to post “your resolution is my every day” …this was when I was in shape and a douche working out at CrossFit. But now I’m older. I’m not the same svelte, sexy specimen that once graced you. It’s time to make changes.
For the past few years, a number of words have been contending for the title of FAMOUS RAY’S FAVORITE F WORD – very prestigious honor. Now don’t get me wrong, there is one F-word to rule them all, but aside from that very special word, where would these others stack up?
First up is FAMILY. My beautiful, big breasted bride has been the center of my universe since our first date – I love her so much. Then came along the fruit of my loins and life was grand. Now my loin-berries are all teenagers and not a day goes by where I don’t wish that someone could catch a face punch. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids, but any parent of a teen can tell you that they not only understand me but would post my bail. All that aside, FAMILY for sure is in the contention to be my favorite F word. I don’t like to admit weakness as I really don’t have any…but I may have misunderestimated the work that goes into have 3 teenagers at home. For the last year, the schedule has been running me instead of me runnin’ my bidness. To have the lasting impact I want for my horrible kids means that I need to spend much of my time with them. And because I’m, in my humble yet accurate opinion, the greatest dad ever, my kids get all that I have to give.
That brings us to the Big Number 2: FITNESS. I’m sure that many of you have fond memories of my I’m-better-than-you-because-I-workout-regularly posts on the Instamachine and Facetweets. Like a finely-tuned Mexican-American Greek God, I did whatever it took to rock short shorts year-round. Ah yes, fitness was a friend of mine. As were tacos and donuts (and they still are). Fitness, just like family, takes time and commitment. I had to sit back and ask myself some hard questions:
- Has my time come-and-gone?
- Is it time for my children to rise up and take on the mantle of epicness?
- Is “epicness” even a word?
- Do I really want to wake up at 4:30am to work out?
- How many more tacos can I get if I stop paying a gym membership?
As my rotundness reflects, I made the decision to take a back seat. I’m not going to say that I’ve been living my best life…but have you ever had bacon-stuff-crust pizza?
I know what you’re thinking…there is one big F word that we have not yet explored. It’s thee most important of all F words ever spoken. It has the power of life itself! And you’re right. The 3rd is FAITH. Where would you all be if God had not blessed me with so much? What would you do if not read this blog? Who would you fantasize about? Yes, we all owe our Heavenly Father a great deal for blessing me so that I could bless you.
And there it is. My big 2020 challenge is to find a balance between my F words. It’s not going to be easy, but just like JFK said: we do not do these things because they are easy, but because Famous Ray is an ass-kicker and he needs to get his shit together – that’s a rough paraphrase. I’m up for the challenge. I’m ready to rock skinny jeans. I’m ready to even out my time amongst my precious family. I’m ready to thank God for all that he’s done and continues to do. In short, 2020 is gonna be my bitch
One final note – for those of you that thought my F word was going to be FORNICATE….well, you’re the reason that I write.
You’re welcome, cyberspace!